Lowered Zamboni Dragsters

So we went to the Calgary vs. Sharks hockey game on Monday night. I’d never been before, though I’ve played my share of pickup games. We were sitting in the oxygen tank section, which I really shouldn’t complain about, because my friend Misha said she was hanging from the ceiling on Saturday night. =P

Pre-first period: Secured some non-piss beer, from Tied House. Up to standards. Arrived back in the stadium just in time for poorly and breathlessly sung Canadian and American anthems. I put my hand on my heart for the latter, but felt dorky. Ended up folding my arms instead.

First period: Shitty. Calgary was asleep or something, they were playing very defensively and the Sharks were all up in their biznatch the whole time. Ending score: 1-all.

Break: This dude was offered $7600 from Gas Station 76 to shoot at and make a goal from the center line. What the fuck? He ended up with $76 with a shot from the “penalty box.”

Second period: A little better, but still sloppy on both sides. Calgary up three. Cracked up watching players sitting it out in the penalty box and seeing guys double on each other during power plays. Instructive.

Break: They recruited three teenage boys from the audience and had them race around on tricycles. They also gave away a shitload of electronic devices, like mp3 players and digital cameras. It was Brewster the Zamboni man's birthday, so they put a tight shot of him up on the jumbotron for like, 10 laps on the ice. He looked up a couple times and was like, "What the fuck?"

Third period: Finally, getting my money's worth. This is real hockey. The Sharks scored 2 goals in less than a minute, repeating some previous game's "miracle." The arena filled with screams and people making communist dictator gestures with their fists, that is, if they weren't making these revolting "shark attack" gestures with their arms. As a surfer, it really disturbed me, especially with the accompanying "Jaws" theme. Final score: Calgary won, 4-3.

Overall, a good time, plenty of entertainment. And then there was the Kiss Cam, too, and the fake Zamboni races on the Jumbotron.
My first game ever... exciting, pure entertainment.

And yeah, lowered zamboni dragster racing? Yeah, I'd pay to see that.